Leg over Leg zine’s Neighborhood

Wrote this in my english class because the toad was being repetitive.... lol

Cold vapors run down our body
no warmth moves toward us
independence is daunting
scared and fearful with whispers of "alone"
Where do we go???
Searching for someone to vanquish that word
Analyzing the past occurences
more thoughts pop into our mind
Worthlessness, Sadness, Pain, Depression.
All caused because love was gone.
was left in the waste lands of our mind
Left there to decay.
But spring Will come.
A rebirth of the once prolonged emotions
A reoccurnce of saftey.
Completeness, hope, joy, laughter.
Words placed in our mind.
No cruelty will be in a healthy relationship.
A true relaionship, one filled with love and peace.
So give hope.
Give a smile and be cheerful
It wont always be like this
That chill will go away with the spring warmth
Embrace your independence and live
Don't stop because we are alone
find that person
this wasn't meant to be forever
because forever wasn't part of our vocabulary
It will someday, but not this time.... :)

SARAH LLOYD

hey world,
im happy, not really but i can say that right?
i can breathe and i don't have to  do anything that makes me sad.
i am happy  to be independent, im happy with the burdens that are caused.
I like walking around at night, lonley in the darkness, thats when i'm finally happy by myself when i don't have to around people in a stupid house that confines me to the boundary's i've created for myself.

I'm free.

I human. beautiful.
love is coming back into my life... i want him back so bad. We've been talking for the past 3 days in a row. ...
I've been telling my sisters that i've been talking to a guy named Jake just so they wont be furious at me.

I've been reading Fight Club.... It's really odd, and really pessimistic.
There's a lot in there about sex and porn. . .
Which doesn't surprise me because the movie had a lot in it.
Altogether it's just really trippy.

I'm going to be working a 40 work week just this week. Milly is out because her back has given up on her. She got beat by her husband about a week ago. I get to fill in for her.

I'm not sure how happy i am about this.

It's Joe's birthday on Monday. i want to do something for him really bad, but everyone tells me no.

I don't know what to do. not at all. :)

We still love each other. I still love him. He tells me that he still love's me. I hope it's true. :)
 "They don't love you like i love you." - Maps, by the Yeah Yeah Yeahs. That's what i've been listening to for the past week and a half. it's so happy.

heard two cute stories today. 
story 1 : my sisters getting a promise ring from her boyfriend.
story 2 : my friend is making a freaken awesome fort!

how cool is that???
 
me and joe are okay....
wahahahah
i don't know though....

I hate your face.
I hate your dreams, i miss you smile.
I miss your confidence.
I miss the stupid bull shit you talked about all the time.
I don't miss you.
I don't miss your smile.
I don't miss you.

I'm moving on ;)
and i wont be coming back ;)
Bye Joe

i don't want to be like this any more.
i want to be happy.
i want to be able to live.
but Ive been stunted by him.
i can't on with life.
im trying so hard.
no matter how i try to handle it.
it doesn't seem to be enough.
i can't get over it.
he won't let me forget him.
the world wont let me forget him.
that's all i want to do.
is forget about him.
everything about him.

Today i skipped math class : )
i don't know if im really happy about that:O
lol

oh well, i have so much reading to do and i need to sleep gawd. oh welll.
im going to have lunch with this guy named jake. i hope it goes well.

i hope it goes well, not that the kid is dating material, i just need friends, and i going to what ever god will give me.

I had an excellent weekend, my friend Kristen came for the weekend and we did a bunch of crap i can't even remember it all !

it was really crazy.
ive been having these really intense urges to call joe all week...
i haven't acted upon them though. Matt thinks i can do better and that joe's just not a nice guy. which he isn't. but i just miss being loved. loved and needed. by someone. i don't want to be alone any more. but if i have to i will. i must be strong.

Marijuana
To dream that you are using marijuana, signifies illicit activity or ill health. If someone else is using marijuana or trying to get your to use it, then it indicates negative peer pressure. You may feel that your identity and sense of self is being compromised or disrespected.

To see or smell marijuana in your dream, suggests that you are experiencing an expanded sense of awareness and consciousness. You need to take advantage and draw insight from this new consciousness. The dream may also mean that you need to look on your inner strength for stimulation instead of relying on outside forces.

OMG , had a dream i was smoking mary jane with hyde off that 70's show. lol

Today, ugh, don't even want to say anything....
I'm not a happy camper lol, but i don't think I've ever been literally a happy camper.
So today my friend is coming down, and both of my mom's. I'm going to be running around and screaming pulling out my hair. ugh. I don't have to work today but i do have to tomorrow, which wasn't planned. Donna asked me to come in because one of the lady's that come's in was beaten up by her husband and she's now in the hospital. She will be out all week. Which mean i will have to pick up the slack. i think i might just go to the counselor today. Just need to talk to someone.  ugh. i hope everything works out. i need to study today also. i hope that i don't have to work on Sunday. I will kill Donna. :) i don't want to have to come in if i don't have too. blah.....